I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
