it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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