Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
