As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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