If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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