as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize