If i come over, it means nothing
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
