I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
