dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
