Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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