I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
