you would pick up someone in the library
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
