Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
