how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
