dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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