She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
