We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize