Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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