I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
