the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
