They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
