I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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