After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize