I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
