i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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