SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
