if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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