Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
