We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
