I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
