at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
