even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
