it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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