what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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