in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
