there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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