I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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