Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
