I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
