If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
