ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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