So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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