Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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