hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize