You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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