I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
