Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
