worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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