how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
