i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
