Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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