Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
