i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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