he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
