we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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