well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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