If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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