thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
