The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
